As we wrap up the year, many of us start thinking about resolutions. We make plans to get healthier, more organized, more present. And while those goals are meaningful, I’ve learned something in my work with families (and in my own home): if we’re not including our kids in these conversations, we’re missing a big opportunity.

Resolutions often become about what we want to do differently. But what if we also asked our kids what they want to experience, change, or try next year?

These Questions Might Surprise You

Recently, I was talking with a parent about how to open up better conversations with their teen. Instead of the typical “How was your day?” (which usually gets a “fine”), I encouraged them to ask more open-ended questions like:

• “What was the best part of your day?”
• “What was the hardest?”
• “What would have made it better?”

Simple questions. But they unlock real answers.

And now, at the end of the year, we can take that same approach and zoom out a bit. Try these five questions with your teen, tween, or young adult this week:

1. What was your favorite thing that happened this year?
2. What was the worst or hardest thing about this year?
3. What’s something you wish you had done but didn’t?
4. What are you most looking forward to next year?
5. What’s one thing you want to do next year that you’ve never done before?

These questions might spark a ten-minute chat, or a two-hour conversation. Either way, they create a window into what your child is carrying, dreaming of, or struggling with.

A Family Culture That Listens

When kids feel heard, something powerful happens: they open up more. They trust deeper. And they start to believe that their voice matters at home.

You might learn that your child has always wanted to try guitar. Or that they wish they’d had more family dinners. Or that they’re scared about something next year that you didn’t even know was on their radar.

The goal here isn’t to turn this into another checklist. It’s to listen, to learn, and to lead with connection.

And once you’ve had these conversations, you can begin making family resolutions that reflect everyone at the table, not just the adults.

You Don’t Need a Perfect Plan, Just a Real One

The truth is, parenting doesn’t require perfection. But it does require presence.

So before you start mapping out the new year, pause and make space for these conversations. You don’t need all the answers. Just the willingness to ask, and to listen.

Your child’s voice deserves to shape the future you’re building together.