Let me just say this upfront:
Perfect parenting is a myth.
And the more we chase it, the more disconnected and exhausted we become.

I work with a lot of high-achieving parents. Entrepreneurs, executives, doctors, educators, you name it. These are folks who crush it at work, hit deadlines, lead teams, and solve complex problems with precision. But at home? They feel like they’re constantly falling short.

Why?

Because somewhere along the way, they started believing they had to get it all right—every response, every moment, every meltdown.

They think if they can just read the right book, follow the perfect routine, or say the perfect thing, they’ll finally feel like a “good parent.”

But here’s what I tell every parent I coach:

Your kids don’t need perfection. They need presence.

They need you, fully human, sometimes tired, occasionally messy, and always trying. They need to see how you repair after a misstep, how you regulate your emotions (or apologize when you don’t), and how you keep showing up, even when things are hard.

Let me be clear:
Trying to be the perfect parent can actually create more distance in your family.
Kids start to believe they have to be perfect, too. That they can’t mess up. That love is earned through achievement or good behavior.

That’s a heavy burden to carry, on both sides.

But when you let go of the myth of perfection, something powerful happens:
You become more available.
More connected.
More honest.
More real.

And that’s what builds trust. That’s what builds resilient, grounded kids.

I’m not saying we don’t try our best. I’m saying we redefine what “best” looks like.

Here’s what I believe:

• Your calm matters more than your answers.
• Your effort matters more than your expertise.
• Your repair matters more than your perfection.

So if you’re feeling like you’re falling short, here’s your permission slip:
You don’t have to be a perfect parent. You just have to be a present one.

And if you want support navigating that? I’m here. Book a free discovery call with me today.

Let’s shift the narrative from perfection to presence and lead our families with heart.

Peace,
Thomas M. Miller, LICSW
4 Peaks Parents