Your teen is spending 6, 8, sometimes 10 hours a day on the Xbox or PS5.

They sleep in, they avoid responsibilities and every time you bring it up, they shut down, or fire back.

You’re not alone. And you’re not crazy for being concerned.

It’s Not Just a Game

Video games are designed to be immersive. They offer an escape, a sense of achievement, and a community, especially for young men who may be struggling with confidence, purpose, or identity.

But when the game becomes the only source of those things, it becomes a coping mechanism, and potentially, an addiction.

The problem isn’t always the game itself.

The problem is what’s not happening while the game is on repeat.

What You Can Do (Without Making It Worse)

1. Avoid Shame-Based Confrontations

Telling your young adult they’re lazy, addicted, or wasting their life may feel true in the moment, but it won’t bring change. It’ll only bring resistance or deeper withdrawal.

Instead, get curious:

“What does gaming give you right now that real life isn’t?”

“What do you love most about it?”

“Is there anything you’re avoiding by logging in?”

This keeps the conversation open instead of combative.

2. Start with Structure, Not Ultimatums

If your young adult still lives at home, you have every right to set boundaries, especially around time, contribution, and employment. But start with structure and expectations, not threats.

Try:

• Setting “tech-free” zones or times in the home

• Requiring work or school engagement in exchange for gaming access

• Collaborating on a weekly schedule that includes real-life goals

Structure creates clarity. Ultimatums create shutdown.

3. Address the Root, Not Just the Behavior

Gaming addiction is rarely just about boredom, it’s often about numbing, avoiding, or escaping something else: anxiety, depression, shame, or lack of direction.

That means addressing the addiction means addressing the why underneath.

• Is your young adult grieving a failure or transition?

• Are they struggling with social confidence?

• Do they feel like they’re falling behind their peers?

Helping them reconnect with purpose, through therapy, coaching, mentorship, or goal-setting, is more powerful than pulling the plug.

This isn’t easy. Watching your young adult disappear into a screen day after day can feel like losing them in real time.

But with consistency, calm leadership, and a willingness to have honest (not hostile) conversations, you can guide them back toward real life.

👉 Watch my full video to learn more about building these skills on my website!

👉 Or, book a free strategy call with me today

Let’s create the family dynamic you’ve always dreamed of, one step at a time.

Be well & have courage,
Thomas M. Miller, LICSW