As a parent of teens, it’s easy to feel like you’re losing connection with your child. You’ve probably noticed that they’re spending more time with friends, more time in their rooms, or even more time on their phones than they are with you. It’s a natural part of adolescence as they begin to individuate and form their identity, but that doesn’t mean you should just throw your hands up in defeat.

Family time during the teenage years is more crucial than you might realize.

Why Family Time Matters Now More Than Ever
Adolescence is a time of change, and your teen is experiencing a huge transformation, both mentally and emotionally. They’re figuring out who they are and testing boundaries. They’re being influenced by their peers, the media, and their own emotional rollercoaster. The pressure to “fit in” can sometimes take precedence over what they value most: their family.

That’s why it’s so important to continue prioritizing family time. Yes, I know that it may seem like your teen would rather be anywhere else but with you, but I promise you, they need you now more than ever.

Here’s the deal:
Teenagers are still incredibly impressionable. Just because they’re pulling away doesn’t mean they’re fully equipped to handle the complexities of their world on their own. When you make family time a priority, it serves as an anchor amidst the chaos of adolescence. It’s the space where they can get a reminder of their values, find safety and security, and know that there’s always someone there who loves them unconditionally.

How Can You Make Family Time Count?
I get it—your teen might not want to sit down for a family dinner every night or spend an afternoon doing something “lame” like playing a board game with you. The key here is to be intentional with your time. It doesn’t have to be forced. It doesn’t have to be long. But it needs to be meaningful.

Here are a few ways you can make family time count:
1. Be present—This means putting down your phone, turning off the TV, and giving your full attention to your teen. Even if it’s just for 20 minutes, make those moments count.
2. Do what they enjoy—If your teen loves basketball, maybe head to the court for a quick game. If they’re into music, join them in listening to their latest playlist or even making some music together. Show them you care about their passions.
3. Engage in conversations, not interrogations—Instead of grilling your teen about their day, approach them with open-ended questions that invite them to talk. Ask about what they’re thinking, feeling, and experiencing. Don’t just talk at them—listen.
4. Embrace spontaneity—Family time doesn’t always have to be planned. If you’re heading out for errands or grabbing dinner, invite your teen along. Sometimes the best moments come from the least expected times.

What’s the Benefit of Family Time for Your Teen?
The benefits of regular family time during the teenage years can be far-reaching. Studies show that teens who have close, supportive family relationships tend to perform better in school, engage less in risky behaviors, and feel more confident in themselves. Why? Because they know they have a strong support system to fall back on.

Spending quality time together also allows you to model healthy communication, conflict resolution, and emotional regulation—things that are essential for your teen’s social and emotional growth. They’re learning by example, even when they’re not fully aware of it.

When Family Time Becomes Difficult
I know that some days it can feel impossible to connect. Your teen may push you away, they may act aloof, or they might outright refuse to engage. When that happens, don’t give up. Keep showing up, even if it’s just sitting in the same room together. They may not be ready to engage fully, but your persistence will eventually pay off.

And remember, family time doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Little moments—like sharing a quick laugh, giving a meaningful hug, or just sitting in comfortable silence—can have just as much impact.

Don’t Wait to Build Those Connections
The teenage years can be tough, but that’s when you need each other the most. The more you make family time a priority, the stronger your relationship will be. It may not always be easy, but the benefits are worth it.

I encourage you to visit my website and book a call if you’re feeling stuck or unsure of how to approach these challenges with your teen. We can work together to find a plan that fits your family and set you up for success.

You’ve got this. And I’m here to help.

Thomas Miller